There can be so many factors when it comes to the feeling of loneliness. When we lean on others to fulfill or sustain us, it removes the need for God. We are not relying on God when we take our eyes off Him. Relying on others to be our God will create feelings of loneliness. It leaves a very profound void in our lives.

When a husband or wife fails to live up to a spouse’s expectation, it can contribute to a feeling of loneliness. This is especially for the one who is seeking a deeper connection. Regardless, it should not be something that becomes mentally debilitating for anyone. Of course, it takes work on behalf of both for the relationship to succeed. Yet, whether our spouse is living up to their role or not, we must always be responsible for our own fulfillment.

God is the only One who can sustain and fulfill us, especially during times when a spouse falls short. They will because they are only human. The bible tells us that we are never alone because the Father is with us (John 16:32). So, we must seek the One who brings life to this promise. Our relationships with people are important. They are a source of connection. Yet, they must remain in their proper place, and not of such importance that is above God.

It says in Exodus 20:3, “We must have no other Gods”. Idol worship can create a feeling of discontent, and a sense of loneliness. This is what happens when we shove God aside for someone else. It leaves a gaping hole in our lives.

There was a time when I expected my husband to be my rock and foundation- to be a man who could give me complete fulfillment and satisfaction. I even went as far as placing these unreasonable expectations onto my children. Talk about misplaced expectations! No person can fulfill us like God can. To put this kind of unbearable pressure on people can cause relationships to crack. When we lack the faith that causes us to live up to our personal God-given potential and avoid doing what He wants us to do with our own lives, we may rely on others to fulfill us.

Women today are depending on their husbands to fill their hearts like only God can. Trust me, I know about this because I was once like them expecting my husband to meet all my needs, only to wind up with the aching pain of disappointment. When women’s expectations are not met, they believe they are not loved. Can they ever feel loved by their husbands enough?

Most husbands would give their wives everything to see them completely satisfied … if only they could. They will make every effort to bring them happiness and fulfillment. Yet, they only wind up in the tedious cycle of trying to meet their endless need for more.

Husbands that fail their wives high expectations feel inadequate and completely drained. This is an example of works of the flesh and it will bear nothing fruitful. In Isaiah 44:9, it states that those who make idols are nothing, and the things they delight in are not profitable. Neither husband nor wife wind up satisfied in this instance. The way in which they are trying to solve their problems leaves God out of the picture and is pure foolishness.

There has to come a point when women’s misplaced expectations have to stop! They must wake up and have a serious revelation of the fact that something within themselves isn’t right. They must be willing to see a problem within themselves. It is not actually loneliness causing them to suffer. Rather, it is their lack of God-given identity. The problem becomes clear to women only when they know the truth about their loneliness.

Let’s discover a couple of possible reasons that women suffer with the feeling of loneliness.

A Lack of Identity

From my experience, a lack of identity is a woman’s inability to know their true self. By this, I mean to know oneself through the eyes of God. Thus, a lack of identity causes them to suffer in every realm of their lives. Women’s feelings of loneliness are a deeper sense that their true selves are not yet identified. Their true self is not seen or understood either by others or from within. This is a different case from being alone. To clarify, being alone is a state of being, while loneliness is a feeling. People can be in a crowd of others and still feel lonely. Others can be happy to be alone at times and not feel lonely at all. Solitude is necessary for many, but feared by others. Part of this fear has to do with the state of their own relationship within themselves.

Distractions

Distractions only rob us of joy, peace, passion and purpose in our daily life. Our priorities may wind up taking a back seat to the artificial and temporary fixes of the world. We find ourselves failing to make time to pray or meditate on the Word of God. We may wind up feeling alienated from God, and even become bored and completely blasé about everything. We can begin to lack interest, and the momentum for pursuing our purpose. This uncertain path can also lead to depression and hopelessness. The Bible provides wonderful insight. It promises that God will grant us all things that pertain to life and godliness in (2 Peter 1:3). We must not allow distractions to disrupt our focus. Life will then be without the void that causes a feeling of absence and loneliness.

Overcome Feelings of Loneliness

• Seek God First (Matthew 6:33). It is important to give our personal mission undivided attention to discover God’s will. Then we will begin to do the tasks that God has for us. It is unlikely that we will be able to fulfill our roles if we do not give God our full attention. It will take a lifetime and a healthy amount of energy to do the tasks He gives to us.
• Discipline Yourself (2 Timothy 1:7). Women of excellence put forth tremendous effort to achieve their ultimate goals. Many tasks and goals will be challenging, and an arduous journey that creates hard work. To face these challenges, we must be willing to persevere and go the distance, no matter what it takes. The good news is that in the end, we will become completely satisfied women of God.
• Persevere (James 1:12). God has given us a job to do. Stick with the mission until there is a harvest. The feeling of disconnect from God can create loneliness. It takes consistent hard work and dedication on most days. The flesh is resistant and women must fight the temptation to get distracted. No matter how difficult a task may seem, the process of perseverance is necessary. It can help women to overcome certain obstacles that stand in their way.

The feeling of loneliness is a powerful emotion. Properly used, it can cause women to take positive action and transform their loneliness. When loneliness becomes a reoccurring issue, it becomes painful and uncomfortable. Yet, it can drive women to search deep within their hearts for the answers that have eluded them. Shifting focus from loneliness to one’s God-given purpose can change the course of misplaced expectations.

Rather than allowing the feeling of loneliness to defeat them, women need to commune with Christ to seek His will. This gives them an understanding that they have allowed feelings to distance them away from Christ. Their choice becomes evident. Reframing the lies of loneliness can transform into beneficial truths. Time alone with God can help women to seek Him in a more profound way. In the throes of loneliness, beautiful gifts and talents can become evident. Sometimes, God may set a woman apart for a season of aloneness to build a growing trust of how completely known they are in Him.